Let Me Go
by Deity-of-Words
Summary: Roxas was reckless: he was as reckless as the fire Axel created. In a way, Axel supposed that was why he was so drawn to Roxas.


_**A/N: **After coming across an amazing picture on dA, that is DeviantArt for anyone that doesn't know, I was inspired to write this one-shot for the artist the picture belonged to. For anyone who would like to see the picture, and I highly recommend that you do, you can find it on dA under the title, Akuroku - Let Me Go, and the artist is Nijunni.  
><em>

_Anyway, this is the first thing that I have ever written for Kingdom Hearts so I hope you enjoy it. :]_

_Disclaimer: Naturally, I do not own Axel, Roxas, Kingdom hearts, or the lyrics of the song featured. They all belong to there respective owners._

**_Edit! This one-shot was revised and edited on the 27/05/2013. My thanks go to Just Call Me Endy for beta-ing this!_**

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><p><em>I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand.<br>And you love me but you don't know who I am.  
>So let me go<em>_**  
>Let Me Go – 3 Doors Down<strong>_

Tonight was the night.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a tiny voice was telling him that this was the night when everything would come to a head. The voice was telling him that tonight his only real friend was going to try and walk away. Deep down, Axel knew that even if he was down on his knees, crying his figurative heart out, his friend would still leave.

That little voice also reminded him exactly what he would lose if he stood by and did nothing; not only would he lose his only friend but he would also lose his lover. With that understanding fresh in his mind, Axel knew he had to do something or die trying.

Axel raised his hand and summoned a dark portal, knowing there was only one place Roxas would be able to slip out of the world quietly and with little fuss. Axel wouldn't, no, _couldn't_ let him leave. He couldn't allow his friend to make the foolish mistake of betraying Organization XIII, even if that meant they had to fight.

Axel stepped into the portal and out of the other side only to be greeted by an eerie silence as his friend was nowhere to be seen. He didn't panic, as a part of Axel knew he wasn't too late, and that he simply needed to be patient. The redhead leaned against a wall to wait, crossing his arms. Being alone was something he tried to avoid. It gave him time to think, about everything from his sad excuse of an existence… to his friend's imminent departure, and to wonder how he would feel if he lost him.

Axel found it harder to answer that than he had thought it would be.

Roxas was different. There was something about the younger Nobody that made Axel feel like he mattered. Even better, when Axel was with him he felt like he had a heart. Sometimes he would secretly swear he felt the unfamiliar beating in his chest that he had lacked for so long.

His thoughts only brought him to another question: could a Nobody feel loneliness? Or was that just his mind fabricating some false emotion just so he could feel a little bit better about himself?

Axel scoffed at the thought and idly snapped his gloved fingers. Footsteps echoed through the air and his eyes promptly slammed shut. Had it been possible, he might have been filled with anxiety, or perhaps he would have felt an ominous churning in his stomach. However, he could only pretend to feel them.

He opened his eyes and watched as Roxas spared him only a sideways glance without stopping. Axel pushed himself off the wall and narrowed his eyes at the Roxas. "So you've made up your mind then?" it was more a statement then a question, but Axel couldn't care less.

The blonde didn't stop as he responded, instead walking on with his head held high and an air of defiance about him. "Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know." Roxas glowered.

For a moment, the Flurry of Dancing Flames could only gape at Roxas. But he tightened his jaw, a mixture of aggravation and hurt decorating his features, before taking a single step forward.

"You can't turn on the Organization!" Axel snapped, his voice echoing loudly in the silence between them. It betrayed the plastic emotions he pretended to feel; it was peculiar how anger came to him so naturally now, even for someone who lacked a heart. Or maybe it was fitting. Honestly, he didn't know anymore.

Roxas scoffed loud enough for him to hear as he walked on, loud enough for Axel to know he had been dismissed yet again. Axel clenched his hands into fists before taking another step forward. "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" They both knew his words rang true, as the punishment for betrayal had been etched into their minds from the very beginning.

All who opposed the Organization, who betrayed them, were to be nullified and silenced and would disappear without a trace. They were traitors in The Organization's eyes, and as traitors they deserved nothing less than a painful death and complete oblivion.

Roxas stopped. He didn't turn to look at Axel, but instead hung his head ever so slightly as he mumbled. "No one would miss me." He said the words so truthfully that Axel almost believed him, but once again he felt anger rising within him.

"That's not true… I would." Axel whispered, his voice an echo of sadness and desperation that no one had ever heard from him, nor would it ever be heard again. Roxas continued to stand still, his back to Axel as his brain processed the heartfelt whisper, his chest clenching ever so slightly.

For a moment Axel let hope simmer inside of him. It seemed, for just an instant, his words had reached Roxas – that they had stirred some emotions within him. However, Roxas simply shook his head slightly and walked forward once more.

Once again Axel was denied. He glared at Roxas's receding back, his hands clenched at his sides. Suddenly, he summoned his twin Chakrams, taking small steps at first before breaking into a run and raising one to attack.

As soon as Axel's steps reached his ears, Roxas summoned the Oathkeeper. The thought of his weapon's name caused him to sneer. It seemed ironic that he chose to use the Oathkeeper considering he was now breaking his. Roxas raised the Keyblade and spun, blocking the sharp points of Axel's Chakram as it came crashing down towards him with unbelievable strength and speed.

The blonde glared at Axel, his free hand coming to rest on the blade of his weapon before he mustered his strength to push the Flurry of Dancing Flames from his body. "Let me go! No one would care if I left!" With that Roxas took a battle stance, ready for when his friend would attack again.

"Did you even hear me? I would!" Again Axel lunged at Roxas, his Chakrams simply extensions of his own arms. His movements melding together like an intricate dance, one that he had rehearsed time and time again.

With no hesitation, Axel brought his left Chakram up in a dangerous attack only to have the Oathkeeper block its path as Roxas defended himself. Not missing a beat, Axel brought the second Chakram down in a practiced move.

Immediately Roxas knew he had left himself open to another attack, and of course Axel took advantage of it. The redhead had brought his second Chakram down towards his exposed body and Roxas had raised his arm to defend himself only to hiss in pain as the sharp points of Axel weapon stabbed deep into his skin.

Blood oozed from the freshly made wound as Axel pulled himself back and out of the blonde's reach. There was only silence now, no words needing to be spoken as Roxas glanced at the wound on his arm, blood still seeping from it. He turned to Axel and lunged.

Abandoning hesitation, Roxas raised the Oathkeeper over his head and brought it down towards Axel only to have it stopped by one of his Chakrams. The sound of metal connecting with metal echoed around them as the two friends stood in place, their weapons raised and straining to overpower the other.

It felt like an eternity passed by as they stood there glaring at one another, anger blazing bright in both of their eyes, but hidden underneath was a number of emotions. Hurt, desperation, isolation, the list went on and on and yet the jumble of thoughts that tumbled around in Axel's mind didn't become any clearer. The only question that continued to resurface was why? Why was he doing this?

He had attacked his one true friend without a second thought, and for what? Was it just his selfish need to not be alone? To not lose his friend? Or was he simply prolonging the inevitable? Even now, when he needed them the most, the answers were escaping him.

After another unknown amount of time, the two pushed at one another and jumped backwards only to remain in their places, "Dammit Roxas! I would miss you! I would." Axel shouted, his hands gripping his weapons tighter as he fought to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Roxas's glare intensified as he charged. As he neared his friend, Roxas swung the Oathkeeper in a wide arc, Axel reacting much too slowly and a hiss of pain escaping him as the Oathkeeper tore at the flesh of his upper left arm.

Axel struck out with his undamaged right arm in an effort to make some distance between himself and the younger Nobody.

"Don't say things like that!" Roxas snapped, "You don't have a heart, you couldn't miss me!" And with those words Roxas lunged once again and the battle resumed.

Their weapons clashed together once again as they danced around one another, their steps absolutely perfect; it was a routine that they had practiced until they had memorized the complex waltz.

The two Nobodies continued their dance, striking out when the opportunity was right, their weapons scathing the other. Ripping long lines into their leather cloaks, tearing similar wounds into their flesh, blood seeped from their wounds and down their bodies to coat the ground beneath them and the metal of their weapons.

Each time their weapons clashed and the two Nobodies fought for dominance, Axel would speak. His sea-green eyes pleading and moist with unshed tears; his mind was a jumble now. Nothing made sense, but Axel knew he still had to try. "Roxas," He said as once again they slammed their weapons together with incredible force. "I would miss you" Axel whispered, knowing that at this point in the battle there was no going back, there was no stopping. Things would never be the same again.

With frustration clear in his eyes, Roxas shoved Axel from his body and charged. "Shut up!" The younger Nobody demanded as he lashed out with his Keyblade.

As they weaved around one another Axel took a moment to think about his friend once again. Roxas was a free spirit, he always had been, the younger Nobody did what he when wanted, when he wanted, and there were no exceptions.

Roxas was reckless: he was as reckless as the fire Axel created. In a way, Axel supposed that was why he was so drawn to Roxas. He was fire. Dangerous and beautiful; pure. However, the Organization was smothering his fire and soon he would be nothing more than smoke, nothing more than another grim reminder of what had once been.

God, he loathed it.

Again Roxas put distance between them and as they circled one another for the umpteenth time, like a lion would its prey. Axel lowered his head and blinked hard before looking back at his friend. "It's funny Roxas," Axel began, fearing this would be it. He would never see Roxas again, "You always did make me feel like I had a heart."

This time Roxas turned away. He needed a moment to compose himself. Everything was starting to be too much for him. He wanted answers, but was he really willing to sacrifice his relationship with Axel to find them? Roxas found himself unwilling to answer the question.

He turned back to face the redhead, a solemn expression on his face. An expression that Axel mirrored.

There really was no going back now.

No words needed to be spoken; there was nothing either of them could say that would stop the other. Now the only thing left for them to do was finish their final battle.

So with nothing left to prolong the inevitable, they lunged at one another, their weapons smashing together hard enough to send spark flying, and their dance resumed. They twirled around each other, dodged and rolled out of the way only to turn and strike again.

Every one of their attacks made something inside of them break, each strike pulled on the invisible threads of their non-existent hearts.

As they continued to fight, time seemed to stop around them – they were the only things that mattered right now, as well as everything they stood for; the pain, the loss, the possibly fake feelings of love. Everything else fell out of focus, dismissed as irrelevant, in the face of their fervent conflict.

An eternity seemed to pass as they fought; they flipped and twirled, dodged and attacked.

Wounds littered their bodies, long gashes decorated Axel's back while similar wounds marred Roxas's arms; blood stained their bruised and battered skin and the end of their cloaks singed from the fire Axel created. The fire worked to Axel's advantage, but rain had begun to fall steadily from the sky, smothering the scorching flames and creating a haze of steam that limited the two Nobody's visions. It had been a mistake to summon his element in the rain. As the flames died away, a part of him died with them.

Only when their weapons were far too heavy to wield, only when their bodies were covered with too many injuries to count and they had all but bled out, did the battle cease.

And Roxas stood victorious.

Axel kneeled on the ground in front of him, on the brink of fading, his head lowered in defeat.

Even as the older Nobody's element roared around them and threatened to engulf him, Axel could only think of one thing.

He failed.

He had not only failed the Organization but worst of all, he had failed Roxas.

Their weapons lay abandoned, the Oathkeeper and one of Axel's Chakram's embedded in the blood-stained ground, the second Chakram lying flat. "I am sorry that it had to happen this way" Axel whispered, a final attempt that fell on deaf ears.

Roxas glared down at Axel. For so long Axel had been his best friend, but he was more than that. The older Nobody was his lover, the other half to his entire being.

Roxas was silent for some time, simply glowering at him until finally he hissed, "Don't get up."

With that he turned away, leaving Axel and all he had ever known behind.

"It's over."

The younger Nobody began to walk away, trying to fight his growing limp and focus on something other than his bleeding wounds and the terrible ache in his chest.

Axel hadn't been expecting Roxas to simply walk away. He had been waiting for the finishing blow. Members of the Organization were not taught to be merciful; they were ruthless and cold-blooded. They didn't let petty emotions such as sorrow and love get in their way, and yet, as Axel watched Roxas's receding form, that was exactly what he felt.

He felt love, sorrow, despair and a number of other emotions Axel couldn't pinpoint. The sheer intensity of these emotions was enough to make him question his entire existence, right down to why he was here, in the abandoned alley, trying to stop the younger Nobody from leaving.

With a grunt of pain Axel slowly struggled to his feet and stumbled after Roxas.

"Roxas" His voice was barely a whisper, haggard from the events that had just transpired.

The younger Nobody found himself frozen, unable to take another step as he listened to Axel limp toward him. His head was lowered as he turned to face the other Nobody; he couldn't bear to meet his gaze. He didn't want to see the look of defeat in those sea-green eyes.

Axel limped forward and closed the distance between them. With surprising gentleness, Axel touched Roxas's uninjured shoulder and rested his other arm around the smaller Nobody as he prepared to topple over.

Instinctively, Roxas gripped the other man's arm while his opposite hand found Axel's shoulder, to keep him on his feet.

The two of them were silent for quite some time until Roxas felt Axel press his lips firmly against his blood-stained hair. Roxas squeezed his eyes shut tightly to try and fight the onslaught of moisture building in his blue eyes.

"You always did make me feel like I had a heart."

The words were Axel's whispered confession of love, of another emotion he simply pretended to feel.

Roxas stared at Axel's chest, struggling to take a breath. He didn't want Axel to talk anymore; anything he had to say was only going to make his departure harder on the both of them.

His grip on the older Nobody tightened as he struggled to take in a breath. In a hopeless and broken voice, Roxas asked, "Why won't you let me go…"

Almost instantly Axel let out a soft laugh, his body shaking from the effort and forcing him to lean more heavily onto Roxas.

"Because I can't."

The younger Nobody's world seem to stop, the flames ceased their movement and all background noise became obsolete. He only heard the sound of Axel's laboured breath that was timed perfectly with his own. After a moment longer he laughed softly; a low and broken sound that made a bitter smile tug at his lips.

"Fuck you, Axel"

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Thank you for reading! Once again I hope you enjoyed._


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